


thank you for loving me

by iovestorys



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Post-Season/Series 06 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:48:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28105764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iovestorys/pseuds/iovestorys
Summary: after the ultimatum she doesn’t go to christopher’s, instead she packs, writes a letter, and leaves everything behind
Relationships: Luke Danes/Lorelai Gilmore
Kudos: 15





	thank you for loving me

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i haven’t written in a while and this was a very quick write so i’m sorry if its bad! feedback is welcome!

Lorelai walks away without turning back. Away from the love of her life, her soulmate, her fiancé. She walks to her, no  _ their _ home. With tears in her eyes and looking straight down. She couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t look Luke in the eyes knowing that she wasn’t worth fighting for. He had chosen a girl he knew for a couple months over her. And she understood she really did but it didn’t change the fact that it still hurt. She knows she was being unfair, springing that on him the way she did was unfair but she needed to know. She was hurting and she needed to know if she was worth fighting for. She needed to know if they had a future, and apparently they didn’t. So she walks home with tears in her eyes, walking as fast as she could and when she finally gets there, she sobs. She doesn’t realize what she’s doing until 10 minutes later and half her clothes are on her bed and all over the floor and her suitcase is by the door. But she doesn’t stop. She continues. She needs to go even if it’s for a little while she needs to go. She needs to keep her distance because if she doesn’t she’ll break down and she feels as if she won’t be able to get up. 

She finishes packing in an hour but she sits on her bed playing with her ring for two. She finally decides to get up and she goes downstairs. She grabs a piece of paper and a pen and she writes. She writes until her hand hurts and her tears run dry and she’s tired. She puts her things in her jeep and then she remembers Paul Anka. She goes back inside and decides she should change into something more comfortable. She packs Paul Anka’s things into the jeep and she carries him outside. She decides that what she's doing will be good for everyone. She’s doing what she does best. She’s running. 

No one has heard from her in days. The town thinks she’s holed up in her house. They didn’t notice her leaving in the middle of the night. They don’t notice that her house is now empty and they think the jeep is inside the garage. They don’t know she left and they don’t know if she’s alright. They just know they haven’t seen her. Only Sookie and Rory know she went. But they promised they wouldn’t say a word. 

Luke is a mess. He misses her. He hasn’t seen her since that night. He’s trying to give her space but he just misses her so much. So he walks to what was supposed to be their house. He has a key but still he knocks on the door and yells “Lorelai!” 

She doesn’t answer, obviously, so he uses the key and walks in. He finds the place empty. He notices that Paul Anka isn’t on the stairs, or anywhere in the house. “Lorelai! Paul Anka!”

There’s silence, so he moves upstairs and there he sees the letter on what was supposed to be their bed. He doesn’t want to get any closer. He doesn’t want to know what’s in the letter. So instead, he looks around the room. He sees all her things are gone. Her toothbrush isn’t in the bathroom, her clothes aren’t hanging in their closet, her shoes are nowhere to be seen. Every trace of the woman he loved was just gone. He continues to look around the house. All the photos of them and him are turned down. The photos of her and Rory are gone as well as the ones of just Rory. Rory’s room is the same as she left it. A mess. But it’s just the thing he needed. 

There’s a photo of Lorelai in her room and he doesn’t realize tears are falling down face until he tastes the saltiness. He dries away the few tears and makes his way up to the bedroom. He grabs the letter and opens it. But he can’t bring himself to read it just yet. He doesn’t want it to be real. He wants her to jump out and scare him and he wants to hug and kiss her and tell her how much he loves her. He waits to see if this is just some cruel joke but nothing happens. She’s gone. 

Luke sits on the bed and decides to read the letter. He notices the dried tear drops and the smudged ink and with a small smile and tears in his eyes, he starts to read. 

  
  


_ Dear Luke,  _

_ I guess this is me saying goodbye. I’m sorry that it has to happen this way. I’m sorry that you have to find out that I left through a letter you might find days after I'm long gone because we both know you won’t show up at the house for a while. I’m sorry that i couldn’t face you and tell this to you to your face but it hurts. Everything just hurts. Thinking of what could’ve been, the wedding, the family we could’ve had, it hurts. Thinking of you and remembering your face hurts. Remembering your soft touch and kisses hurt. I want to hate you so bad but I can’t. I don’t hate you. I don’t think I will be able to. I’m just, hurt. You gave me the best years of my life, the best romance and love story that I could ever hope for so I guess it would make sense that it would crash and burn and I would lose the one good thing in my life after Rory. I should’ve known better. I should’ve known better than to think everything would be perfect. Nothing in my life is and nothing ever will be. But that’s not true, you were perfect. You and I were perfect. It just didn’t work out the way we,  _ **_I_ ** _ wanted it to. Maybe the way you wanted it also but I can’t speak for you I can only speak for myself. I’ll be gone for a while. Maybe a few weeks, a few months, or a few years, maybe I’ll never come back I don’t know. I just wanted to let you know that I understand. After having time to think about it, I understand. You want to protect April and I get that. I would do anything to protect Rory and you know that. I’m sorry for blowing up at the diner and on the street. I just really wanted to marry you. I still do but I know it won’t happen and I know that it’s better for me to get out and protect myself from more pain before I explode and won’t be able to get back up. I never meant to hurt you and I know you never meant to hurt me but we did it anyway. We hurt each other. And I don’t think we can recover this time. The secrets and lies have just piled up and I can’t do it anymore. At least not right now. Maybe ever actually but I don’t know. I want you to be happy Luke. You deserve every good thing this world has to offer. I hope you’re happy with April. You’ll be an amazing father to her. I just know it, and I hope that you have an amazing life. It’s what you deserve after the hell that is my life has put you through. I’m sorry about everything and hopefully I’ll see you soon.  _

_ Lorelai _

  
  


_ ps, I still love you. and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.  _

_ pps, the ring is in the box in my nightstand drawer. thank you for loving me.  _

It doesn’t hit him until a week later. He had hoped it was a prank, a really really long and hurtful prank but he couldn’t believe that she wasn’t going to come back. He just couldn’t believe that she was gone. She’s gone. And she’s probably never going to come back. And he’s lost her. 


End file.
